Article By: Dr. Martha Durham
Contributing Writer

We all have ups and downs in life and that affect our mood.  This includes parents and
children.  Parents, there are things you can model and do as a family that can help you
personally and help your children effectively deal with the ups and downs of life.  
When times are tough, we may feel down, anxious, or even mad at circumstances that
negatively impact our lives.  For many people, the situations that lead to negative
emotions and thinking improve, and life continues.  When I use the word “normal,”
professionally, I mean average, ordinary, or life as before the current negative situation. 
Having said that, when multiple negative events occur, or if you have a tendency toward
depression, it can be hard to bounce back and get back to normal.  For times when it is
hard to bounce back, there are things you and your family can do to feel better.  
Some people take antidepressant medication and learn or reinforce coping mechanisms
to help decrease depression, anxiety, and anger and return to “normal happy.”   I refer to
the state of satisfaction with life as “normal happy.”   While there are many proven
methods to do this, I have found several that my clients have used successfully, and I’ll
discuss those in this article.  My clients have used a light box, also referred to as Bright
Light Therapy (BLT), moderate exercise, and increasing “self-efficacy” to help them get
back to “normal happy.”

 What is a Light Box, and How Does it Help People Feel Better?
A lightbox is an apparatus that uses full spectrum light and filters out as much
Ultraviolet (UV) light as possible.  UV is the light that is damaging to the skin and
eyes.  The light in a therapeutic light box is full-spectrum light (i.e., 10,000 lux),
the same brightness/intensity as ambient daylight.  Another way to think of this is
daylight that is not too bright or dim; Goldilocks would say that ambient daylight is
“just right.”
Thanks to the work of Norman E. Rosenthal, MD, non-damaging Bright Light
Therapy (BLT) has been widely used to treat Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
for 35 years.  A much longer history of studying and using light (the more
damaging UV light) dates to 1860!  However, for this article and generally, the
most helpful method for parents to treat depression involves the full spectrum
light used in BLT (most UV light is filtered out).
Briefly, researchers discovered that high levels of depression, alcoholism, and
suicide are present in areas that have long periods of no sunlight (or less
sunlight).   Those researchers described this situational issue (the environment is
causing an effect on people) as SAD.   When people suffering from SAD were
exposed to full-spectrum light, they felt better!  Later, other researchers found
that folks who used a combination of BLT and talk therapy every day (not just
when there was limited sunlight) felt better than people who used an

antidepressant and talk therapy (Artur Menegaz de Almeida, MS; Francisco
Cezar Aquino de Moraes, MS;  Maria Eduarda Cavalcanti Souza, MS; et al. “
JamaPsychiatry,” Published online October 2,
https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamapsychiatry/article-
abstract/2824482#google_vignette).
Here are a few important things to remember about BLT: it should not be
used to treat Bipolar Affective Disorder; BLT should be used as directed by
the BLT light box manufacturer (this includes using it early in the day so it
does not interrupt sleep); BLT should be used daily just like an
antidepressant medication is taken.

 How Does Moderate Exercise Help Improve Mood?
Moderate exercise should include sweaty heart-pumping activity that lasts 20-30
minutes daily.  When you do this, it releases happy chemicals.  I can personally
vouch that this type of exercise decreases depression, anxiety, and frustration. 
In the spirit of full disclosure, I have said throughout my life, “I don’t run for the
bus.”
For real, y’all, I do not love exercise for various reasons, BUT I also grudgingly
exercise because I am a grown person, and I understand that for my health, I
should move.  
Having said this, I have started running!  I kid you not.  It is also worth noting that
I was 58 years old when I started an eight-week program that was supposed to
end at 8 weeks with me running 35 minutes nonstop.  I am now on month 7 and I
have worked myself up to 20 minutes without stopping (notice that I am not at 35
minutes, and I am good with that).  Why am I talking about myself here? My
relative success is because I chose to do this at my own pace and speed, which
allowed me to figure out how to overcome my mental and physical block. I will
make it to 35 minutes at my pace.  My method of learning to run has led to
success for me.  Yours may be different.  My message is to figure out what works
for you and your family and do THAT so you can succeed.  The payoff in happy
chemicals is big.   I continue not because I love running but because of how I feel
after running. 
The science of moderate exercise has been validated in thousands of studies. 
Moderate exercise releases endorphins, which alleviate pain, and
neurotransmitters, including dopamine, serotonin, and epinephrine.  These
naturally occurring chemicals lead to “normal happy.”  When people take an
antidepressant, these chemicals are boosted in the brain.  
Some people must take antidepressants so that their brains have enough of
these chemicals, so I do not want to imply that folks who need antidepressant

medications should not take them.  But I want everyone to understand that you
can also boost these chemicals via exercise (and BLT).

 What is Self-Efficacy, and How Does it Help Change Mood?
In a nutshell, self-efficacy is the belief that you can accomplish things you want to
accomplish.  Think of it as being effective in your own life.  While this section will
be short, self-efficacy is IMPORTANT and must be built in a specific way.  Don’t
fret; the specific way makes it easy for you and your kids!  
People who feel depressed, anxious or angry often feel defeated, apathetic, and
unmotivated.  The best way to overcome these thoughts and feelings is to be the
tortoise, NOT the hare.  Slow and steady wins the race with self-efficacy.  I help
my clients develop a slow, doable plan that leads to self-efficacy.  They pick goals
that are small and likely to be successful.  For example, if a client is isolated
because they feel they cannot successfully interact socially, we pick an ally they
know and trust and include that person in our plan.  They may have coffee or
take a short walk together (exercise and self-efficacy combined) as a part of that
plan.  They agree to undertake a few activities over a manageable period.  This
is relative to the person.  It may be once a week for one person and three times a
week for another.  It is dependent on what that client will realistically do.  Pushing
too hard and trying too much too soon can decrease self-efficacy, so knowing
what will work for you and your family is important.  The point is to do these types
of activities that build self-efficacy to allow you to slowly build back to your former
activity level, which leads to “normal happy.”
As I noted at the beginning of this article, there are many other methods that you and
your family can try to deal with tough times.  These include gratitude,
service/philanthropy, limiting contact with negative or destructive people, avoiding
negative social media, events, and music, and gravitating toward positive versions.  The
following article does a nice job of explaining gratitude and how to foster it
(https://positivepsychology.com/gratitude-appreciation/).  See you all in the New Year!