Article by:Christine Roberts- Kelly
Contributing Writer

Divorce is a life-altering event that forces individuals to redefine who they are, what they want,
and how they will navigate their futures. For many women, especially those who took on more
traditional roles in their marriages, the transition can be eye opening. One of the most
challenging aspects of post-divorce life is taking control of personal finances.
When divorce looms, many women are forced to lift the veil and wake up to the financial
responsibilities that were either delegated, ignored or denied. It can be a time of confusion and
fear and it’s one that many women must start in order to thrive after divorce.

During marriage, many of us fall into what I like to call, comfortable avoidance. You know that
happy stage of the newly married. When you’re glad someone else is taking on the role of
managing the household finances. They handle the mortgage payments, manage the savings, and
file the taxes. While you take on the role of caretaker of the children, the house, and in addition
to your own work. You believe that if the bills are paid and the family is comfortable there was
no need to worry. Your partner assures you that everything is under control, and you trust them.
Some of us, vail our eyes when it comes to understanding, the financial picture.
Then life happens.
After years of marriage, your world turns upside down and you are confronted with the
realization that you have no idea what your financial situation is. You aren’t sure where the
savings accounts are or even how much you have in them. So, not only are you reeling
emotionally you are financially vulnerable. You now must face a court system that will ask for
financial information that you don’t possess because you haven’t been part of the financial
decisions for years. You will have to negotiate a settlement without an understanding of your
own worth, or how to calculate it, and then figure out how to live independently on a budget that
you don’t even know how to create. It is overwhelming at first. Stacks of statements, bank
accounts you didn’t even know existed, investments you weren’t even aware of, and debts that
may frighten you.
Ladies, that is the day you are forced to lift the veil and make the critical decision to learn.
It starts with asking the right people for help. Meet with your divorce attorney who can help you
obtain all the necessary financial records. Then seek out the advice of a financial planner they
will begin your education. Get to know what a 401(k) or Roth IRA is, how to interpret credit
scores, interest rates, and investment returns; then takes small manageable steps. Educate
yourself by reading books about personal finance, attend workshop designed to educate divorce
women and seek out online resources that speak to you about financial terms in good old plain
English.
Slowly, but surely you will begin to understand how your money works and how to plan for your
future. You will realize that you weren’t incapable of understanding, but rather just never taught.

Take action to open your own bank account, savings account, create a month monthly budget
(y’all already know that’s my favorite part) and tackle your debts, one by one.
No sugarcoating this, it is going to be difficult. There will be months when the expenses
outweigh your income. You will have to make tough decisions about what you can and cannot
afford. But with time you will find you are empowered by making your own decisions and with
each financial milestone your confidence will grow.
The process of lifting the veil and confronting your finances can do more than just help you
become financially literate, it emboldens, you in other areas of your life. If you have spent years
in a marriage where your role has been defined for you, this is the opportunity for you to
rediscover your own identity. Mastering your finances you can take control of your future. You
no longer rely on someone else to ensure your security and your independence can become a
source of deep personal strength. I wholeheartedly believe that learning about money unlocks a
door to empowerment that many women never realize existed.
This journey is not an uncommon one.
For women going through a divorce or for those who may still be married but feel disconnected
from their financial reality; I hope this serves as a reminder that it’s never too late to lift the veil.
Financial education is not just about learning how to handle your money it’s about reclaiming
control of your life.
When you invest time in educating yourself, you gain the ultimate understanding that unlocking
financial literacy is the path to true FREEDOM!